You'll believe nylon carpets can fly! - Say the words 'I wish' with the caution that you would normally reserve for 'Please castrate me'. Sacked, jilted, his apartment stripped bare...it's just not Bernard Bottle's day. all he has left is an old Arabic lamp, and when he gives it a good polish, the ensuing explosion puts him in a hospital. He returns home - to a very large genie (Lenny Henry) wearing very large pants and an even larger frown. Once he has calmed down, however, the Genie is delighted with the wonders of civilization: ice cream, Big Macs, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Barry White's Greatest Hits. And Bernard (Alan Cumming) is delighted with having his very own genie to fill his flat with art treasures and exact revenge on his exceptionally evil boss (Rowan Atkinson), his ex-fiancee and his ex-best friend. Life for the streetwise hustler from 30 B.C. and the polite ex-art dealer from the present day is just magic - until two days before Christmas when everything goes hideously wrong. Bernard is arrested for stealing the Mona Lisa and murdering a perfectly pleasant police officer. Only the Genie can save him, and he's in Piccadilly Circus, watching Terminator 2.